Let the saga of the cat be told
A killer of rats, a feline
bold.
Before the fame, before the
glory
A wisecat’s words foretold the
story:
“Into war, my son, you’ll go,
Try to tell the friend from foe,
Use your judgement: join the free.
Of your quest, halfway this be.
The other part of the journey’s
this:
Don’t get lured by deceptive bliss,
Don’t fall prey to barbarian hordes
Seek and find the Overlord.
Challenge him, the price is life.
He’ll take out a magic knife.
Deceive him. Bluff!
There is a breach in force so tough.
Strike for it. Fast!
Before he could return your blast.
If you reach it you will win,
Cower, will the tyrant’s kin.”
Once in days of time gone,
Lived a cat; and all night long
From dusk till dawn
He hunted vermin.
Then one day it happened
that
Fate clapped eyes upon the
cat
As he hunted for a rat.
“You’re the chosen from your
kin.”
And driven by some unknown
urge,
Calling a howling dirge,
The cat went off upon his
quest
Heading slowly to the west.
He reached one day
A land that lay
Betwixt two mountains, rough
and cold;
Two high mountains, lined
with gold.
There he joined an army force,
Fast promotion took its course
And soon he was the one in charge
Of an army, strong and large.
Vanquishing enemies he progressed
Until he reached the sea at last.
He soon grew bored,
The fighting lord,
And taking with him the best,
Saying goodbye to the rest,
He left
Towards the northern cleft.
Far and wide journeyed the
cat
His return awaited at
The harbor he called home.
When at last he touched old
loam
He found
That while his back was turned
around
A tyrant had taken his land.
“I will slay you with this
hand!”
The cat yelled, swinging
its sword.
“Ha! You wouldn’t even cross
this ford,
My soldiers will slay you
halfway there.
Leave cat, have a care.”
The cat turned and strode
off,
Hiding a snigger in a cough.
That night when the conquerors
were asleep,
A sentry died without a peep
And a shadow small and dim
Cut the tyrant from limb
to limb.
The next morn
A barbarian herald blew his horn.
“Our warlord is dead
And there’s a stick with his head,
Held high over a troop of cats.
Out of our fur they will make mats!”
The rabble turned its tail and
ran
And the cat returned again
This did not end Adventure’s call
Peaceful times did not fall
The cat marched forth
Again going to the north
Although this time he rejected
ships.
Listener, be quiet and read my
lips:
Monster eagles they did see,
Giant beasts from which all flee,
Mounts of ice among the waves,
Beautiful diamonds inside caves,
Goblins who use lethal swords,
Weird skeletons bound by cords
And… cats.
Pure white with dark blue eyes
Who told of a place where treasure
lies.
Of course, the cat went after it,
Heading towards it, bit by bit.
He returned back home at last,
Leaving adventure in the past.
The truth behind this story (starting
from the second verse, the first one's just there for beauty) is the following.
Norwig had humble origins. He was just an ordinairy cat. One day he set
out to, what is usually called, "seek his fortune", traveling to the west.
He joined a revolution, found out that he had a natural ability for leadership
and became the commander. He was a natural warrior and when he found this
out he started to conquer all surrounding cat-nations. In the end he became
King Norwig the First of Norway and all Lands thereof. Basically the rest
is self explanatory.
